Merry Christmas & Happy New Year ! ! !

Some friends I ride with were posting holiday greetings but could not seem to deal with our losses this year I'm not doing well with it either, but I'm trying to focus on the positive. Frankly for me it feels like a life and death situation.

Here is my response, hopefully it helps.

While myself and friends around me are trying to get into the spirit of the season I can't help but think of friends that were lost in the wreck, missing them so so terribly, as well as others throughout the year.

That being said, I can't speak for all those we lost but I do know that Christmas was a very happy and joyous season for a couple of them and I imagine they're better served and remembered in celebration than in me sitting around crying and singing "whooaa is me".

Much Love Dan, Dayle, Clyde, and Steve. And to all of you have a Very Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!

~Julie

Finally

Over the last couple weeks I've noticed that I am spending less time crying and more time smiling whenever my thoughts are drawn to my friends that passed in the wreck. I'm not beating myself up near as much for experiencing some joy in my day or happiness in the memories I have of my friends. Recently a few of us were reminded of one of Dan's antics and were left pretty much breathless from laughter.

Now that is an incredible feeling. Not only the laughter, but more importantly the happiness I'm beginning to experience again when I'm in the company of my friends if only in memory. Feels a little like we're still together enjoying each other. I imagine they've missed that as much as I have and are shouting "it's about time chica, we've missed you!!!"

~Julie

Another Tragedy

Been a long road. Unfortunately I'm not alone. Found out this weekend there was another, eerily similar wreck (at least from the photos) east of San Diego this weekend.

My heart goes out to the victims and their families. Godspeed to the fallen and a very quick recovery to the injured. (shout anytime if ya need to just relate)

See the link below for more details.

Saddle Tramps

I sure hope 2011 isn't as filled with tragedy.

~Julie

Never going to be allowed to move on... ???

Been going over and over the tragedy for pretty much the whole week with one person or another. Next I'll have to repeat it all for the experts for Maricopa County Atty. Office. Seems like it will never end  :(

~Julie

The Memorial

Sunday morning we placed the memorial to our Fallen brothers and sister. It was a good day but sad too. I have more on this but now is not the time. I need to sort through my thoughts and feelings for a bit.


Ride Safe !
~Julie

Work

Seeing the Ortho today... I hope begging might allow me to go back to work on the 1st. We'll see! Wish me luck!

~Julie

My Helmet

The Memorial

Today we are meeting at the Memorial on 27th and Carefree Highway. We'll be launching balloons in honor of our friends we lost at that intersection on 3/25/2010 and dismantling the impromptu memorial setup from the date of the tragedy to the present, by thousands of friends, loved ones, and supporters.

Some of the items will be used to make quilts for the 10 riders involved, and other items will be going into a banner to be relayed around the USA for awhile in honor of "The Fallen Four", bringing attention to the tragedy and boost awareness.

My friends asked a few days ago that I release one of the balloons in Dan's honor.

"Julie, if your there..I personally would like for you to release Dan's balloon. Just my thought."

My response was an immediate...

"Julie

AKA ( E.Z. Rider )

I will be there... I will be riding!!! And I would be absolutely honored to release Dan's balloon. TYVM Bob! ~Julie"

 

Friends I ride with totally stepped up the moment I decided to ride to the Memorial today (as they always do) and many bikes were offered. I decided to accept an XL1200C from one of my girlfriends, since I'm familiar with the bike and being as responsible as I can about getting back on the horse.

 

I don't have the words to express my heartbreak this morning. I miss them so badly. I'm excited about riding for them today. As I said, I can't get on two wheels and not be riding for them and with them. My plan is to crank the tunes (Ya Dan we'll be listening to some of your great tunes brother) and leading the run up, with Dayle riding co-pilot at my side I'm sure. I took a solo run a few days ago to document my return to the road for ya'll and will have plenty of pics from this afternoon.

~Julie

 

 

Life

I'm not a loafer, nor one who will rest on "good enough". I can't think anyone would ever consider me lazy or unmotivated.

Seems like life is slowly moving forward...

In some ways I am too. Some things are healing, other things not healing at all. Some things are still broke, and other things seem to be mending ahead of schedule.

Again, it seems like life is moving on...

But I am so completely unprepared for it. I'm in no way physically or emotionally ready. I'm trying, I really am, but I'm feeling so lost.

One day you have a plan, a path, a sort of forecast for the future. Sure there are no certainties but you know what I mean. We have certain expectations or anticipations, based on our past and present. And WHAM this huge, completely life changing, tragedy just seems to destroy it all.

My whole world just seems to be shattered. I was on a path, rough, and uncertain sure, but a path none the less. Now... I'm lost. I have absolutely no idea whatsoever what to do. How to move forward...

I'm working real hard on healing, I go go go, but ultimately I'm still horribly wounded and completely lost.

~Julie

Physical Therapy

One word... O U C H ! ! ! !

But atleast feels like I am doing what needs to be done to try and see some progress... We'll see.

~Julie

So the bike

Sadly it'll be awhile before I can ride again. Between the injuries and the bike being "evidence" and a "bio-hazzard" I won't be getting it back. Alas I only carried Liability so I'm down for some time.

Sucking bigtime, but sa'll good I guess, since it keeps me off the bike until I've healed up enough. I know me, sorta... I can even now occasionally surprise myself at some of the stupid $%^#%$# I can pull    :)   and I cannot resist the ride so I'd be on two way too soon I imagine.

~Julie

Dedicated To My Beautiful Friends

Dan,
You were an amazing beautiful soul and man. My life has been blessed beyond words for knowing you and your having been a part of it. "Sparkles" is so very fitting Dan, you were a bright light in this world and will forever be for me in my life. I love you dearly my brother. I will forever cherish the moments we had, and will never ever forget you and your amazing heart and smile. As another friend so beautifully and fittingly described it, you are my Soul Rider and we will always ride side by side.

Dayle,
What a wonderful blessing in my life to know you, to be your friend, and to love and be loved by you. Your amazing spirit and kind heart radiated as I'm sure it does still. You offered your friendship freely and I will cherish and carry that friendship with me for all my life. When we ride again I'm sure you will show me all the good roads Sis.

Clyde,
I knew you for but a moment, but in that moment we road together. In my heart that bonds us closer than most. Thank you for the ride brother, I look forward to our next.

Steve,
We had some really good rides brother. I will miss you as my journey here continues, knowing you will be at the next meetup for the best ride ever.

To All the Fallen Four,
All my rides are forever dedicated to you. With each one I know we are closer to riding together again.

~Julie